A lot of mind voices, which not many could hear, that I couldn’t share at that point, wanted to spill it out now, as I stare at something disturbing and which reminds me of an epidermic every time I see it. This is about a person who deliberately turned my Birthday disastrous every time – I want him to read this.
I constantly had to receive my phone calls that midnight. Yes! You guessed right! It was my Birthday, and all those calls ended on a same note – ‘Happy Birthday Again!, see you tomorrow‘.
I couldn’t get any sleep that night, guessing about the gifts that am gonna receive. At 6 AM one guy calls me whom I want to read this ‘Sorry for wishing you late, my alarm went off yesterday’.
“That’s okay, its never late” (Oh! Come on every year?). He continues ‘What would you want on your Birthday?‘ and as ever I say “NO”. I know what comes next, ‘Are you gonna tell me or not‘, he asks, (Now is he forcing me to say that there is no need for gifts? Try me, am never gonna do that). So I just say “Whatever you give with Love”. He ends the conversation saying, ‘You know what? I knew exactly what you like to see‘, (Oh! My! God! What have I brought upon myself?!).
Its 11 AM, all my friends reach home and am excited! (This happens every time! Later I fake my expressions, WOW! AMAZING! COME ON YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GET THIS! and much more, but I wouldn’t have liked any) But still am excited as every time.
My room is flooded with my friends, beverages are all served. (OH! Come on what are you fools waiting for? my hands are ITCHY!). Finally one makes the first move ‘I got something FUNKY!!‘, the other one obstructs her ‘First lets wish, cut the cake and then GIFTY OPEN SWIFTY‘.
This is the day I exclaim ‘Oh!‘ ‘God‘ ‘Come on‘ than ever.
I wished everyone wished me faster, stupid hugs, chop the bloody cake, lets move on to Gifts. (Wait! I know its gonna be bizarre, yet WHY?!). Like the most tragic fairy tales, where the Fairy never gets laid but all the others do, my fairy tale Birthday is gonna make everyone happy for dumping this shit on me, all those things they never liked, things that annoyed them and never wanna see again. So, they wait peacefully for some occasion to come up and pass that grudge to someone else like a cursed ill-luck of Voodoo craft.
I open them one by one, (Not bad this time, far better than last time, I had 2 anonymous presents), the final one I open is this guy’s who called me at 6 AM. Hell with his sadistic pleasures.
My hands tremble when I open (should I or should I not? Or should I? Maybe I just should wait until he leaves). ‘Go on… Open!‘, He suggests and I did, “A pink T-shift? WOW! I don’t have this color” (Come on, what kind of a color it baby pink?) (I would never shop pink you Idiot!, that’s why I don’t have any!!)
I notice that my worst T-shirt-mare is yet to come. The T-shirt says ‘I DO EVERYTHING, EVERYONE‘. God! I would look like a sex addict. Is this guy an IDIOT? Or just acting like one?. He adds, ‘I searched for something nice since morning‘ (You should have taken me with you, you PSYCHO). He continues ‘I saw this, ONE, T-shirt in this place, I ran to it before anyone picks it, it suits you I felt’ (Oh! Why didn’t someone pick this !?!)
He confirms multiple times, if I liked it or not, I too constantly went on lying, “I love it, really” (God! Maybe I should stop doing this). I already started planning to pass on this curse to someone else, surely not someone he knows. So I gave it up to my neighbor whose mom was mean to me by giving me a stinky catholic stare.
I hence felt relieved washing my hands from that CRAP, bloody my neighbor never wore it. Wonder whom he gave it to!?! Well I really don’t care. My friend questions me one day, ‘I have never seen you wear that T-shirt I gave, was that bad?’.
I can’t tell him the truth nor can I hurt, so I come up with a stupid reason to convince “I wore it twice, but when it was dried out in the sun, it went missing with few other clothes. I really, really miss that you know?!”. He then pacifies, ‘That’s okay, things happen you know!’. That went smooth.
There could be nothing more shocking, eight months later he comes to me with a wicked smile, he says that his friend gifted him something, ‘I knew how much you missed this, so I thought this would cheer you up’ and he pulls out thus pink T-shirt (guess too many common friends, the network’s big, didn’t anyone like this?! Oh! Please…). All I could say was “Thanx!” (Shit! my fake smile, it got me into this crap again).
To crank up the heat, he suggests me something bad! Really bad!!. He yells ‘WOW! great then! Why don’t you wear this for the Marathon this Thursday?’. Now that I have lied a little too much, I couldn’t say “NO”. Guess what!? I wore it.
All those who ran past me giggled, wish the designer was dead before he could do more of these, at lease these people can stop giggling.
Some came close, read the Caption (I DO EVERYTHING, EVERYONE) and asked ‘So what all do you do?‘, giggles, yells to his friend ‘Dude! this one does everything!’.
‘How many have you done?, I mean at the same time’, giggles sarcastically. ‘Would you do me? and everything?’, some, ‘We are four, we need to be done, everything’.
MORAL: Weird Gifts Neither Should Be Gifted, Nor Received. They Can Only Be Transferred; just make sure not to the same person.
PS: I do not own the image(s) that are used in this post, they are taken over from web randomly.